Originally Posted by
Lighten-Up
I understand, I've been there. Sometimes they show up and sometimes they don't. It's hard to come to terms with the just not knowing. It is one of the most difficult part of loving our little squirrel friends, I have found. I can relate to what you are feeling. It sure isn't easy when we really want to see them because we have had a great relationship with them and want more.
A number of years ago I had a wild squirrel come out of nowhere, and scare me silly. She would run straight at me if I had nuts in my pocket that I was giving to my other squirrel friends. I would jump backward and toss her a nut. She came daily to do this to me. Finally I had had enough and decided to offer my hand straight to her face with nuts in it; I had to do something to make this change. She backed up, assessed the situation, and to my utter amazement, came forward calmly and carefully took a nut from my offered hand. That was the end of her terrorizing me so to speak, and the beginning of a lovely relationship. She would surprise me by just showing up, like when I was swinging a broom wildly while sweeping, she would come up right behind me. Or once I was banging something very loudly, and on my next swing, there she was running right up to me. I couldn't believe she had no fear of the things I was doing, I called her Nutkin, and we had a very fun relationship. She got picked on by the other squirrels often, so she and I together figured out a hiding space amoungst my piles of terra cotta pots. I would place a pile of nuts and seeds in there, and she would know to go run to the pile of pots when other squirrels were out. I would look in and see her head or ears sticking up amid the pots and know she was comfortably eating her special stash. One day she didn't show up. I missed her so much, and finally had to give up hope. I let her go in my mind, figuring that something had happened to her. Was it 5, or 6 months later, a squirrel came running up to me that wasn't one of my regulars, it took a while for me to figure out, but the next day when I was making a lot of noise and she came running up, I then realized it was my special Nutkin, and our relationship resumed, I put her nuts in the pile of pots and she knew to go there. Why she left for over 5 months I have no idea. I surely wasn't looking for her by then.
I'm not asking you to keep up hope, because I have no idea how your situation will unfold. I'm only seeking to give you a story of a very long disappearance that did happen.
Lenny's Mom has a great quote that I really appreciate. I don't find it easy to live by, but I seek to be able to every day. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." If one is feeling sad, it is almost impossible to find the resonance of this, I truly understand that. But I seek to learn how to reach for the positive feelings of gladness that of which I truly did enjoy, and realize that here on earth all things do end some soon and some later, and to come to peace with that so that I can continue to enjoy the new things that will continue to come. Easier said than done, and I am not at all suggesting that you shouldn't be struggling. Many of us do.