Broken today

[Rexie]

my deepest condolences. no words i can speak will help you during your most difficult time of loss and sadness. Only us humans that have been gifted the precious life and love from a squirrel could ever begin to understand the bond and happiness, love, they bring into our lives. losing them is all of our worst fear and someday we all here will have to face the inevitable. cry, scream, yell, curse and be angry..you have that right because the pain is so deep. squirrels are angels . i hope in time your pain will be more bearable and you begin to heal. i am deeply saddened with you for your loss of snickers, Rexie and Wallys Mom

[Chickenlegs]

When my Punkin left her tired little body, it was alone. I found her on her back. It looked as if she was trying to get out of her bin. I mourned her leaving without loving arms holding her. I grieved that she might have been afraid or cold. Then I dreamed of my baby whole and strong. She was climbing because while her little old body was stopped by death, her spirit kept climbing towards the absolute. That was the night I wrote down Punkin’s prayer. May it help with your loss.

Thank you Lord, for you have given me a squirrel.
You have entrusted this wild thing to my care and we are bonded as family.
In the end there will be sorrow because squirrels are born perfect and don’t need to learn the lessons humans are so slow at before they are called home. Make me worthy of this creature who in spite all my faults, trusts me and loves me as only a wild one can. One day when I have to say goodbye to my beloved friend, my companion, my child—when my heart is torn with grief, please don’t let me forget to thank you Lord, for you have given me a squirrel.

[Snicker Bar]

Thank you for kind words Rexie, I agree outside of TSB folks just think grief over a squirre is ridiculous..
And I am literally sitting here in a WM parking lot, getting myself composed after reading that poem. How beautiful and convicting; because as a believer I cursed instead of thanked Him. Thank you for sharing this; I’m doing a little better; staying busy with the fawns and the other squirrel girls ( and little man Flyer). Doodles and Dandies ( the remaining NR greys) have never been “House “ squirrels; they were and have remained tightly bonded to each other since the rehabber brought them together three years ago. I figured they would be happier in an outdoor habitat as close to natural as possible. And they are more “wild”; friendly but not cuddly. But if they would allow and enjoy some indoor time and affection, I would love to try and work with them if it’s not too late. Snickers was just so different, she needed me whereas these two are more aloof.
And dang if my little kennel girl /junior rehabber in training didn’t come in yesterday with four baby greys.... two males, two females. Rescues from a fallen tree , just like my Snickers . I almost wished ( in selfish way) couldn’t one just be a bit neuro? A broken jaw, malocclusion, something to deem one NR?? Just longing to nurture a baby again, that could stay guilt free. I could easily trade duties ( she would LOVE to take over the fawns) but I know I would struggle, would want to keep a little girl... But I know that’s Illegal, and selfish . These are healthy as best she can tell. But maybe someday another will come, that is in need of a home vs euthanasia.

[Mel1959]

I am certain another needie squirrel will come along because you have an open heart and have expressed your desire to help one. Squirrel Magic!

[Chickenlegs]

Snickers will make sure the hole she left in your heart is filled by a special baby with her seal of approval.

[Snicker Bar]

It was a year ago tonight, right about now, that I found my sweet girl Snickers. She was already gone. I didn’t get to say goodbye; I didn’t get to hold her or comfort her when she needed me most . That is the part that hurts the most.

I hate goodbyes. They hurt; I dread them. I can’t look back, I can’t smile and wave . I want to remember the hello; go back to the start. I’ve had some dreadful ones, we all have. Today was especially tough as I remember this night, and, simultaneously had to say goodbye to my best friend after a short but amazing visit. At least I did get to hug her, but it still hurts. I’m missing her terribly already, along with my Snickers . I want to go back to the beginning.

Ironically, she reminded me of my own words that I spoke to Snickers before I let Jon take her from me. I reread them from my post from a year ago, to myself and to her spirit in heaven: “It’s not goodbye , Snickers. No. I refuse to say those words. Instead, I will say, see you on the other side.”

I could post some more pictures of her, but there are several of my favorites already here. Instead, I want to post this one; a happy memory caught on my phone from earlier this week. A beautiful reminder of new beginnings. I’ve been so blessed over this last year with many new beginnings. Many of which, came through the pain of her loss.
I had the privilege of witnessing him (“Herman”) hatch from his chrysalis. What an amazing process... something I always wanted to see with my own eyes. I will never forget this moment in time. This small miracle also serves as a reminder to me of the promises I believe in and hold onto. That one day, all created things great and small will be made new. There will be no more suffering, no more seizures, no more tears.

And best of all,
No more goodbyes.
I love you Snickers, see you on that wonderful day to come.

[Scooterzmom]

I am sitting here, crying, remembering sweet gentle times along with you and I hope the Creator offers you sweet memories to relive tonite, loving memories of your little darling Snickers. Maybe she will come visit you in your dreams?

Please know that you are not alone with your grief. So so many of us here have had to say goodbye to the most precious creatures, lives cut much too short and yet ever more special to us. That is why I know that tonite you will have many thinking of you, sending warm thoughts and hugs, and I know that Hami will be right beside Snickers up there, along with many, many friends as she waits for the day you two will be reunited.

[TubeDriver]

[Snicker Bar]

I just want to let you know I haven’t forgotten you sweet girl. It doesn’t matter how many days, months , or years will come and go. You will forever be present in the Here and Now , in my heart. I hope you can see this little rascal “Mr Sleepy Swallows” doing cartwheels in the trees! Look what you started Snickers; look what you’ve done to me? Would I have ever believed I’d be sitting out here , in the woods in the heat and humidity, desperately looking up into the branches?? Looking for a sighting of his brother, or Toot, or Faith, or the Trio from last spring?? You’ve inspired me to go beyond my comfort zone. You’re teaching me it’s OK to let go...Please don’t quit teaching me!! I still need you; it’s still so hard ! Even now I’m beginning to feel the worry overwhelm the joy of success, simply because I can’t see them all everyday.
It’s at times like this I have to go back to my beliefs, my faith. Back to the Bible verse that is now an anchor to my soul in times of doubt : “ Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we cannot see.” Even if emotions try to shipwreck it, I refuse to let go of my faith. I will choose to be sure of my hope to be reunited with you, Snickers; and with all the others I love that have crossed over. I will choose to be certain I will see you with new eyes on that amazing Day to come.
Please watch over my boys that just went to the trees two days ago. Please watch over my Toot and Faith that left earlier this summer... Haven’t seen them for some time . Tell Trio boys to be kind to these new youngsters. Ask Him
permission to be their guardian Angel. They have their instincts, yes; but a helper might make their mom feel better .
Love you, until next time .

[Mel1959]

Snicker Bar Marie

[Charley Chuckles]

Snicker Bar & Marie Sending long distance hugs

[Scooterzmom]

Marie, sweetie

I know Snickers must be so, so proud of you for all the love and devotion you have lavished and continue to offer all these olittle ones who are put into your hands. She must be smiling at you, and I'm sure she's watching over your beloved babies, day and night.

I'm so very proud to call you my friend. I wish I could be there with you to give you a real hug.

[TubeDriver]

[Diggie's Friend]

She knew she was much loved!

The One who watches over the sparrows cares for over all His creatures.

She wasn't alone; the spirit returns to the One who gave it.

May the God of all comfort, comfort you in all your afflictions.

[bre]

I'm new here and didn't get to "meet" your baby Snickers. Just wanted to say that my heart & tears go out to you.
You were there for her when she needed you most - you gave her love, comfort, food and a warm home when she would not of otherwise had them. Animals, of all types, (and even a lot of humans) seem to (want) to pass away by themselves. I've heard numerous stories about this and people grieving (more so) that they were not with them to say goodbye. I firmly believe they do this because it would (imo) be even harder to witness them passing. You would've felt helpless not being able to help her. I'm sure you gave her snuggles & kisses not long before she crossed the Rainbow Bridge.. to her maybe that was when she said goodbye or see ya on the other side.
I suck at grieving but I do truly believe that animals/people come into our lives or are sent to us at a certain time to teach us something. Once we have learned what they were sent to teach us.. they leave. We may not feel as though our time with them was long enough (how can it ever be when you love something/someone with all your heart?) to have learned anything in their time with us but one day you'll be able to look back and not feel so much pain and maybe realize what she taught you (sometimes it's a subconscious lesson that we can't pinpoint).
I hope this makes sense.. it's hard to explain and I hope you find some comfort today, tomorrow and for the rest of your days.

[Snicker Bar]

I just wanted to say thanks to my extended family here, and share a pic of little “Sleepy” who made an appearance here this morning on Day 3 of freedom. Ironically, right about the time period she left two years ago, I was out here just before dark and all three appeared : My two new releases that I’ve been fretting over, and my earlier release “Toot” who’s been MIA for last several days. It’s as if she whispered to all three to come out and give me a sign everyone is Ok.

Bre, you may be new but your post is so appreciated. It opened my eyes to a different way to look at her passing. It does make sense; had I been there at that very moment ( her seizures finally took her ) I would not have been able to fix it. I always held her as they happened , and she always came back around . But I knew there would come a day this might be her last; the big one. That would have been so difficult to witness and endure ; in fact more than you could know , considering another sudden loss I did have to witness years ago, and was totally helpless to do anything to save the life. Thank you for sharing this point of view . It does bring a peace and lightens the guilt .

[bre]

I just wanted to say thanks to my extended family here, and share a pic of little “Sleepy” who made an appearance here this morning on Day 3 of freedom. Ironically, right about the time period she left two years ago, I was out here just before dark and all three appeared : My two new releases that I’ve been fretting over, and my earlier release “Toot” who’s been MIA for last several days. It’s as if she whispered to all three to come out and give me a sign everyone is Ok.

Bre, you may be new but your post is so appreciated. It opened my eyes to a different way to look at her passing. It does make sense; had I been there at that very moment ( her seizures finally took her ) I would not have been able to fix it. I always held her as they happened , and she always came back around . But I knew there would come a day this might be her last; the big one. That would have been so difficult to witness and endure ; in fact more than you could know , considering another sudden loss I did have to witness years ago, and was totally helpless to do anything to save the life. Thank you for sharing this point of view . It does bring a peace and lightens the guilt .

I do think she sent them to you as a sign and to also lighten your stress. Glad they made their appearance and that you see it that way too. She is watching out for you as you did for her when she needed you to
You're welcome. I'm glad I was able to help.. even if it was just a little bit. I'm too familiar with loss & grief/trauma. I do *try* to keep that outlook on it.. unfortunately it's easier said then done some days.
I feel like I know you guys a little.. I've been lurking and reading a ton of posts in between feeding, caring for the little one that was brought to me about 2 weeks ago & trying to take mini naps to catch-up on sleep . I named her Hope since she came to me at a time that I feel I can really use some I'll introduce us soon.. the nut ball just opened her eyes on Sunday.. such a joy

[Diggie's Friend]

Though all loss takes time to emotionally process, feelings of sadness upon recalling our loss may persist for a lifetime.

Yet, there is no reason for, 'guilt' as to second guess our actions when the matter was out of our control, for we aren't gods.

[Diggie's Friend]

Very true what Bre shared here; they want to run, to get away. Our boy had a number of seizures from his heart going into fibrillation where he went unconscious just prior to passing. I picked him up to hold him the natural thing to do, yet between the seizures he got away from me, heading towards his nest. I scooped him up and carried him the rest of the way, and laid him on his blanket where he passed having felt his last heartbeat. Trust then what Bre has shared here to be true and take comfort; for with this kind of seizure it is a mercy as they feel no pain. Sadly in witnesses this it isn't something that is easier to do than not.

[Diggie's Friend]

God loves you, be at peace.


"but just as it is written, "THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR HAS NOT HEARD, AND which HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN, ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM."