Re: stress relief
You can also get rescue remedy from Henry's (the same place you get blocks for squirrels) it can be used on pretty much any animal (even people use it)
I agree with Sammysmom on the forced affection, but perhaps before going right for holding them down and petting them, try to instigate play. A peice of yarn or the toy that has feathers attached to an elastic string on a pole would work great. Cats have a high prey drive and if you can get them to play, they usually forget about what is stressing them out. Playing with them alsol ets the cat see you in a nonthreatening way. Play with him on his level (lay down) to him you probably seem like a giant scary thing and making yourself less daunting by becoming smaller in his eyes might help relieve some stress. At first play with him so he is at a comfortable distance from you and them slowly while playing use the toy to bring him in closer so that he is near you and can realize that you mean him no harm. After he becomes more comfortable around I would start forcing affection on him but only for a short amount of time, then go back to playing. Eventually you can start lengthening the time you pet him and he should start responding in a positive manor. Also treats work wonders. Always offer treats during play time and especially during affection time so he sees it as a positive experience. I found a feral cat when it was around 6 months old and that's how I won her over. She was the same way and mean as hell but now she's lovable and cuddly
Started thinking about what you said; about me obsessing; started obsessing about obsessing. - Dr. House