How do I let go...

[DrgnLady]

about 18 weeks ago, I found an abandoned pinkie following a storm. This forum was a wealth of info and is most certainly responsible for saving his life. Thank you to everyone who freely give of their time and expertise, you make a difference, and you make the world a better place.

The help I'm reaching out for today is how, knowing what I know now, let him go? It is illegal to keep a squirrel in Southwest Missouri, they acually have "squirrel season" for hunting them. I've been told by rehabbers that I can be fined for even rescuing him.

We were never going to keep him or had thoughts of domesticating him. But thru the feedings, tiny "hot tubs" to poop lol (which was only a few times before his eyes were open-but boy was I worried!), and "play sessions" in a safe room where he can run and stretch his legs for an hour a day, I'm afraid that I've become attached to the little guy. His homones seem to be kicking in as he's becomming possesive of me, grooming my hands, and becomming agitated when my husband enters the room where we play and run around. Then he started biting my husband...hard. I'm often away volunteering with disaster relief and it became clear that we were not going to be able to winter him as we had originally thought, as hubs wasn't comfortable handling him anymore, and I couldn't bear the thought of him being locked in his cage for a week whenever I left. (it is a big, double cage, but still).

We have found a rehabber 1.5 hrs away that has a very large property (woods) and experience with releasing older squirrels. She will attempt to see if he's ready as we're having such a warm winter. How do I reconcile the drastic difference in nr and wild squirrel life spans? He doesn't know how to be a squirrel, how to check the acorns, how to not sleep on the ground (no matter what I try, he builds nests on the floor of his cage!) I keep seeing him cold and alone in some tree and my heart breaks....wtf!!!? I'm usually much more pragmatic and NOT this emotional....so again I ask....WTF???!

This sucks!

[DrgnLady]

*addendum*
I guess what I'm looking for is all the reasons I'm doing the right thing, that he'll be free and make friends, all the happy horse**** that will make this easier or what anyone else has experienced with doing what I know is the right thing. Thanks in advance~DL

[nikkicreatesart]

I had the exact same question as you not too long ago. I have cried more tears over the past four months, both in anticipation of releasing him as well as after- both happy and sad. I never knew how attached I would get, and every time I thought about the time he would be released, a Pixar movie montage of all the adorable sweet moments I had with him would play in my head. I too thought he wouldn't be ready. But, I also saw how he would watch the other squirrels in his pre-release cage, the way he would constantly pace in his excitement, I knew what his very DNA needed. I still call for him and worry about how he is doing out there. But I know its was the right thing, and this is what helps. You have to remember bad things happen to pets too. How many times do we have to take our domesticated babies to the vet, and sometimes the outcome is not what we are looking for. So ultimately what would be crueler? An undetermined amount of time safe but caged, but then never have the opportunity to have tasted freedom, to leap among the clouds, or perhaps (but not necessarily) a shorter time in the wild experiencing what God created him to do? And in my mind, even though I would give everything I have to be able to keep that baby with me and be able to love on him as much as I could, I know that his getting to taste rain on leaves, run where he wants, to feel the wind, to experience LIFE is the only thing you can do with your heart. I may never see him again, even though I check my ring camera constantly to see if he came back. But I have to believe he is happy out there, doing exactly what I saved him for, a full life. And I believe at least, we will meet again at the rainbow bridge if not on this earth.
Sorry if this was rambling- but I hope it helps.

[DrgnLady]

I know that his getting to taste rain on leaves, run where he wants, to feel the wind, to experience LIFE is the only thing you can do with your heart. I may never see him again, even though I check my ring camera constantly to see if he came back. But I have to believe he is happy out there, doing exactly what I saved him for, a full life. And I believe at least, we will meet again at the rainbow bridge if not on this earth.

This is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you! I will keep the above in my mind as we take him to his new forever home: Love_Icon