Travel Dilemma,

[Snicker Bar]

I know we should think about all this before we commit lifelong to anything... So , my elderly mother is about 800 miles up North. Too frail to fly anymore. She moved up North to a retirement home a year ago, and it's to make a visit soon. My home literally requires a full time caretaker for all the animals, which is fine ; except for Doodles. The other two squirrels are fine with my caretaker - but Doodles is the one I have to hand water/hand feed. We have always taken her with us by camper. So, mom; to allow more days to visit- (it takes at least 4 days by ground there and back)wants kids and I to fly up there a week. Let my husband and son take care of everything including Doodles...I tried to explain to her ( she's almost 90) Doodles will not allow anyone else but girls and I to assist her (hates the men). I told her I hate flying, that driving would be best for me and Doodles...but it would cut down the days we can visit. She then bluntly asks what's more important, your mom or your $&@?! Squirrel lol... we love her , the spunky Grandma from the North...I guess she's right. Putting a rodent before quality time with mom , and time to visit with her grandchildren is selfish for the sake of a rodent ( and my terror of heights) right???

What would you do? Be selfish and drive with my special needs squirrel ?We can only afford take about 8 days off, so driving only gives about 4 days to visit. By air ( just three of us) we could have a full 8 days- but the squirrel will likely go on strike with the men.

Had anyone ever flown with a squirrel in carrier ( with the passenger)under the guise of say, a small kitten lol? Or, and exceptionally large domestic sugar glider ?? I NEVER fly, do they even check what's in the carrier??

[synisterkat]

Its been years since I've flown with an animal but yes, they do check the carrier! Going through the checkpoint I had to remove a cat from the carrier and put the carrier on the belt with my bag. Then carry the cat through the metal detector. It was nerve wrecking at best.

[PennyCash]

Just a thought but what if the children flew up to your mom and then you drive there with everyone returning by land? Might that be a compromise? :dunno

[Mel1959]

I have learned that it is illegal to fly with a squirrel. At least with the airline I called, Delta, I think.

[Snicker Bar]

Ok , thanks for info- I haven't been in the air since 1988...swore never again . Flying the girls could work... I didn't think of that! And then husband and I could drive much quicker without the camper. I'll run that by the family! Are most squirrels here able to adjust with a caretaker , if given time?? Maybe it's just a trust issue (problem) with me.. but even with me, I sometimes have to be persistent to offer frequent meals and water ( per syringe) before she's in the "mood" to take it. I just don't think anyone but her mom would have the patience to deal with that - and taking her to someone else's home would disrupt her even worse. At least in the camper, she has some familiar accessories and me to care for her.

[Snicker Bar]

Ok husband says no on flying girls alone- makes me nervous too after thought of it

[Milo's Mom]

Husband fly with girls, you and squirrel drive.

[Lighten-Up]

I like what Milo's Mom said, but can you drive the camper yourself, if you need the camper for the squirrel?

Also,
Consider that it is not any more wrong to "act selfishly", than to be "coerced by guilt". Neither is a virtue. So I would not feel guilted into doing what you think others want you to do, as if that would solve anything.

I don't have your answer, hopefully you will find it for your situation. But please know that the things that you care about that are in your life are important, meaning you are not wrong to think about things as you would prefer them. Other people, mom, etc, are important too, and require equal consideration. Consider not throwing one out, while only considering the other, both have value, it's not completely about selfishness in my opinion. I have seen a good healthy dose of "selfishness", save many a relationship, because if a person always gives in to guilt, internal resentments will build, that is only natural, and long term will create tons of issues.

Search for a way that is not operated out of guilt, and that will bless all involved. It might take some out of the box thinking, but hopefully a way will be made for you and your squirrel. I just offer these as thoughts to ponder. I hope I have stated them in a way that makes sense.

:Love_Icon:Love_Icon

[Jennefer]

Hi Snicker Bar! I personally would do what works best for you & your family (humans & furries), which soulds like everyone driving up, together. Of course, I dont like to fly either & am contemplating taking a 10 day steam ship trip across the ocean to Europe just so I dont have to get on an airplane! :crazy1

All kidding aside though, I understand your mom's point...but it sounds like 4+ of you are traveling, which is stressful in & of itself, not to mention expensive. You dont need to add more stress. We raise our kids to be independent & lead independent lives, and sometimes that means not living in the same town & being on the same schedule or being able to be together a lot. Im with Lighten Up.....dont sucumb to the guilt trip. Do what works for you & you'll have a more enjoyable trip. All the stress of flying, putting Doodles under stress, you stressing about Doodles stressing, hubby not happy cuz you're stressed out....doesnt sound like a fun time by the time you get there. And yes, it's okay that you love Doodles enough to make her part of the plans (not everyone loves animals like we do)! :blowkiss

[Snicker Bar]

Thanks all, for reassuring me I'm not the worst daughter ever... I will figure out something ; she's not going to be around forever and any time to visit is better than not at all. She of all people should understand my love for animals- she and dad raised me; encouraged my study of animals...It's not just a hobby, or my job during the week; it's a lifestyle, lots of work but love my "jobs".

[Jennefer]

No - that is hardly being a bad daughter....the fact that you are willing to drive round trip 800 miles with kids, a husband and a squirrel, while someone else takes care of all your other babies....that is caring enough about your mom to make the trip! Besides, maybe you can smuggle Doodles in to see your mom! :hug

I always say if I cant live with/be with animals, I dont want to live...they are part of me & I will never be without them (I may end being the crazy squirrel-bird-cat-rat-lizard hermit lady that live in the woods, but hey, Im okay with that!!) :gigg You are lucky that its your "job"...I chose to go another path (tv & retail) so I've missed out all these years getting to work with animals all day. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard "you missed your calling" I would be rich! So count yourself blessed & have a fantastic, safe & fun trip...who knows, maybe you'll find a few squirrels on the way! :squirrel3

[Snicker Bar]

I will be in the same woods with our mixed variety of farm, domestic, and exotics! Thanks again, will keep studying the options ; in the Fall we may have more relief help available to take care of things at work/home, so I may be able to take an extended leave ; (with camper, kids and squirrel)if we can wait until then, and funds allow Lord willing :)