Will someone help me with my nuts. . .

[PBluejay2]

. . . and other cooking dilemmas?

I've just finished making a double batch of blocks and need help in certain areas. I'll try to be brief, and I'm trying to laugh at myself, but if any of you cooks can tell me where I'm going wrong or how to make any of these things easier, I'd appreciate it. I feel like I just worked out for the last four hours and am having an early first drink! I'm just an old Kentucky boy. I can grill or fry you up just about anything, and I can open a can of whatever you like, but apparently "I ain't no baker!"

1) What's the best way to chop the nuts? I tried a blender, but the oilyness of the nuts made much of the finer choppped peices stick to the side like paste while bigger chunks just kept going around and around in the center. Then I tried this chopper I have that looks like a big school bell, and you push the handle up and down, up and down while this thing inside is supposed to spin around, mixing the nuts as the blades chop (I haven't done that repetitive motion with such ferver since my teens). Alas, it too quickly gummed up and the thing that stirs the nuts quit stirring--so it was "shake-shake, chop-chop, over and over again.

2) What's the best way to mix up a fresh jar of "all natural" peanut butter. I tried a fork for about ten minutes and bent it beyond repair. The peanut butter is like three inches of concrete with 3/4 inches of heavy gear oil on top. Then I tried my mixer but had to quit because the motor kept smoking under the load. THEN, I got my heavy duty electric drill and attached one of the mixer's "thingies" to it. That worked better, but there has to be a better way.

3) I have to make the "growth" variety, and the only difference is additional whey and some water, yet the last three batches, including today's, is more like a heavy "goo" than a dough. I left the water out today hoping it would be less sticky and tried to mix it with my hands after bending up a couple of more forks. That worked, but I thought I'd never be able to extricate my hands from the stuff. Caveat--I DO leave out the baking powder because I (and my squirrels) like the harder texture, but it's hard to believe it makes that much difference in the consistency of the dough itself.

4) If yours turns out gooey too, how do you spread the stuff out (there's NO "rolling" it)? I've tried wax paper, but it sticks to that. The only thing that comes close to working is keeping my hands wet and smoothing it out that way into what looks like a rather large single cookie that I score into small squares halfway through cooking.

5) WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU USE TO KEEP IT FROM STICKING TO THE PAN? I have Teflon-coated cookie pans, and I used PAM the first couple of times, and that worked around the edges but not in the middle. I used cooking oil today, and I might as well have used epoxy cement. After the big "cookies" cooled (again, I cut them into 3/4 inch squares about halfway through cooking), I swear to God I had to use a stiff taping knife (like you use for drywall tape/mud) and a hammer to get these things off. It was like chipping up old terraza tile. I might just buy new pans each time rather than try to clean the ones I used today. I don't know what all I'm doing wrong, but NASA could use this stuff to glue the insulating panels to the space shuttle and never have to worry again.

All in all, I like the way these things turn out (ultimately), and so do my squirrels (most, anyway). But the idea of making two batches of this a week (I have 15 squirrels) isn't appealing to me right now. Let me finish my drink, and maybe I'll feel better about things.

Any advice will be appreciated, but I'd still like not to use the baking powder.

[squirrel princess]

:jump I think maybe you should just order them from Leigh:rotfl
Try putting the nuts in a bag and crushing with a meat beater or hammer:D and you are right about the peanut buteer I use a big heavy spoon:D

[Ardilla]

This clinches it. I will be placing a repeat order with 4S--there is no way I want to deal with all that. :eek:

[squirrel princess]

This clinches it. I will be placing a repeat order with 4S--there is no way I want to deal with all that. :eek:


she wanted testimonials I say that is one humdinger:rotfl I can see the commmercial now with J making a mess in the kitchen and then someone having the mail man knocking on the door with cookies while they are sitting in their nice clean kitchen browsing TSB with a cup of JAVA:D
somethings are just worth writing a check:jump

[lillysmom]

:D you must be working for 4s...:rotfl

and this is the reason I don't bake.. I order from 4s only!!:D

[PBluejay2]

I'd love to be able to just buy these things from 4s ("4s, I'd like to order 32 batches of blocks . . ."), but like I said, I have 15 right now--who knows how many more to come--and I'm an educator--nuff said? It's the same reason I do my own housework, yard work, home maintenance, car maintenance--hell, it's why I eat store brand peanut butter and buy "au naturale" and bend up all my forks and spatter paint my walls with it for these critters . . .. By the way--thanks for the tips so far!

[Charles Chuckles]

. . . and other cooking dilemmas?

I've just finished making a double batch of blocks and need help in certain areas. I'll try to be brief, and I'm trying to laugh at myself, but if any of you cooks can tell me where I'm going wrong or how to make any of these things easier, I'd appreciate it. I feel like I just worked out for the last four hours and am having an early first drink! I'm just an old Kentucky boy. I can grill or fry you up just about anything, and I can open a can of whatever you like, but apparently "I ain't no baker!"

1) What's the best way to chop the nuts? I tried a blender, but the oilyness of the nuts made much of the finer choppped peices stick to the side like paste while bigger chunks just kept going around and around in the center. Then I tried this chopper I have that looks like a big school bell, and you push the handle up and down, up and down while this thing inside is supposed to spin around, mixing the nuts as the blades chop (I haven't done that repetitive motion with such ferver since my teens). Alas, it too quickly gummed up and the thing that stirs the nuts quit stirring--so it was "shake-shake, chop-chop, over and over again.

2) What's the best way to mix up a fresh jar of "all natural" peanut butter. I tried a fork for about ten minutes and bent it beyond repair. The peanut butter is like three inches of concrete with 3/4 inches of heavy gear oil on top. Then I tried my mixer but had to quit because the motor kept smoking under the load. THEN, I got my heavy duty electric drill and attached one of the mixer's "thingies" to it. That worked better, but there has to be a better way.

3) I have to make the "growth" variety, and the only difference is additional whey and some water, yet the last three batches, including today's, is more like a heavy "goo" than a dough. I left the water out today hoping it would be less sticky and tried to mix it with my hands after bending up a couple of more forks. That worked, but I thought I'd never be able to extricate my hands from the stuff. Caveat--I DO leave out the baking powder because I (and my squirrels) like the harder texture, but it's hard to believe it makes that much difference in the consistency of the dough itself.

4) If yours turns out gooey too, how do you spread the stuff out (there's NO "rolling" it)? I've tried wax paper, but it sticks to that. The only thing that comes close to working is keeping my hands wet and smoothing it out that way into what looks like a rather large single cookie that I score into small squares halfway through cooking.

5) WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU USE TO KEEP IT FROM STICKING TO THE PAN? I have Teflon-coated cookie pans, and I used PAM the first couple of times, and that worked around the edges but not in the middle. I used cooking oil today, and I might as well have used epoxy cement. After the big "cookies" cooled (again, I cut them into 3/4 inch squares about halfway through cooking), I swear to God I had to use a stiff taping knife (like you use for drywall tape/mud) and a hammer to get these things off. It was like chipping up old terraza tile. I might just buy new pans each time rather than try to clean the ones I used today. I don't know what all I'm doing wrong, but NASA could use this stuff to glue the insulating panels to the space shuttle and never have to worry again.

All in all, I like the way these things turn out (ultimately), and so do my squirrels (most, anyway). But the idea of making two batches of this a week (I have 15 squirrels) isn't appealing to me right now. Let me finish my drink, and maybe I'll feel better about things.

Any advice will be appreciated, but I'd still like not to use the baking powder.
OK I will have to stay out of this:jump But good luck with that:rotflI will have to admit I only read the 'nut part' been busy

[whopoopwrasse]

:jump wow, classic case of a man in the kitchen!!!!:jump

But seriously :rotfl Kraft makes a natural PB without the floating oil, but I think there might be other stuff in it.
The one I use has a bit of oil but the PB under it isn't that hard :thinking
I buy pre-chopped nuts and meal, and here it's cheaper than the whole nuts but like Gamma says, a hammer and baggie should do the trick.
Now for the "sticking to the pan" problem. I use an aluminum foil called "SLIDE" nothing and I mean NOTHING sticks to it and you can re-use it if it's not in to bad shape. I cooked the stickiest most sugary ribs on it and they just slide off!

Gamma,
you're gonna love the bullet, don't worry the blades can take it, but I suggest you break the big calcium tabs in half first and don't be afraid of the noise, it's really LOUD!!!! and use the smaller cup of course. If you don't want to leave the extra powder behind in the cup, you can beat your egg in it after you dumped out the vitamins!

[4skwerlz]

:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

. . . and other cooking dilemmas?

I've just finished making a double batch of blocks and need help in certain areas. I'll try to be brief, and I'm trying to laugh at myself, but if any of you cooks can tell me where I'm going wrong or how to make any of these things easier, I'd appreciate it. I feel like I just worked out for the last four hours and am having an early first drink! I'm just an old Kentucky boy. I can grill or fry you up just about anything, and I can open a can of whatever you like, but apparently "I ain't no baker!"

1) What's the best way to chop the nuts? I tried a blender, but the oilyness of the nuts made much of the finer choppped peices stick to the side like paste while bigger chunks just kept going around and around in the center. Then I tried this chopper I have that looks like a big school bell, and you push the handle up and down, up and down while this thing inside is supposed to spin around, mixing the nuts as the blades chop (I haven't done that repetitive motion with such ferver since my teens). Alas, it too quickly gummed up and the thing that stirs the nuts quit stirring--so it was "shake-shake, chop-chop, over and over again.

I bought a small electric chopper by Black and Decker for less than 14 bucks at Walmart. It chops the nuts just fine, with no oil or sticking. However, for the almonds, you need to buy them sliced, as most choppers can't handle them--they're just too hard. I think the blender probably revolves too quickly, and make nut butter instead of chopped nuts.

2) What's the best way to mix up a fresh jar of "all natural" peanut butter. I tried a fork for about ten minutes and bent it beyond repair. The peanut butter is like three inches of concrete with 3/4 inches of heavy gear oil on top. Then I tried my mixer but had to quit because the motor kept smoking under the load. THEN, I got my heavy duty electric drill and attached one of the mixer's "thingies" to it. That worked better, but there has to be a better way.
When you buy the jar, turn it upside down. In one day, the oil will have spread out. Okay, here's the trick for the peanut butter. When you're ready to make your block, put the whole jar in the microwave for around 30 seconds (with the lid off). Then just "pour" the amount you want.

3) I have to make the "growth" variety, and the only difference is additional whey and some water, yet the last three batches, including today's, is more like a heavy "goo" than a dough. I left the water out today hoping it would be less sticky and tried to mix it with my hands after bending up a couple of more forks. That worked, but I thought I'd never be able to extricate my hands from the stuff. Caveat--I DO leave out the baking powder because I (and my squirrels) like the harder texture, but it's hard to believe it makes that much difference in the consistency of the dough itself.

This MUST be because you're grinding your nuts into "nut butter." The growth formula typically comes out dry and must have a bit of water added when kneaded. The dough does tend to be sticky, from all the protein powder. Wear nylon or latex gloves and use your hands to do the final mixing of wet/dry. Once it starts to form into one ball, fold and press down. Fold over and press down. Repeat. I do think at least 1 tsp of BP per batch helps too, as it gives the dough some "rise."

4) If yours turns out gooey too, how do you spread the stuff out (there's NO "rolling" it)? I've tried wax paper, but it sticks to that. The only thing that comes close to working is keeping my hands wet and smoothing it out that way into what looks like a rather large single cookie that I score into small squares halfway through cooking.

Once the dough begins to stick together into one ball, I turn it onto a greased surface (Pam works well). And finish kneading it. It kneads into rolls very well.

5) WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU USE TO KEEP IT FROM STICKING TO THE PAN? I have Teflon-coated cookie pans, and I used PAM the first couple of times, and that worked around the edges but not in the middle. I used cooking oil today, and I might as well have used epoxy cement. After the big "cookies" cooled (again, I cut them into 3/4 inch squares about halfway through cooking), I swear to God I had to use a stiff taping knife (like you use for drywall tape/mud) and a hammer to get these things off. It was like chipping up old terraza tile. I might just buy new pans each time rather than try to clean the ones I used today. I don't know what all I'm doing wrong, but NASA could use this stuff to glue the insulating panels to the space shuttle and never have to worry again.

A spraying of Pam will keep it from sticking to the pan, but I find they don't tend to stick at all. I do bake them on parchment paper in the pans, but that's more to keep my pans clean, and enable me to lift off the hot blocks in the paper, set them out to cool, and immediately put another batch in to bake.

All in all, I like the way these things turn out (ultimately), and so do my squirrels (most, anyway). But the idea of making two batches of this a week (I have 15 squirrels) isn't appealing to me right now. Let me finish my drink, and maybe I'll feel better about things.

Two a week? Try 10 per day! (Or like today, 24 batches in one day.) Seriously, since you need to make quantity, once you get the technique down, make 4-5 batches at a time (that's the most you can knead at one time without feeling like you're massaging an elephant). They freeze well in ziplock bags and will keep for several months.

Any advice will be appreciated, but I'd still like not to use the baking powder.

One more thing, a good coffee grinder makes mincemeat of all those vitamin pills!

[muffinsquirrel]

I agree - buy the nuts already chopped - life's too short to go through all that! For the sticking to the pan, I have no ideas off hand. I haven't made any yet, so haven't had to jump that hurdle. :thinking Have you tried those disposable aluminum cookie sheets? Then maybe you could just sort of twist it and 'pop' them off. Grease it good first, and try taking them off while they're still hot. If that doesn't work, go for cool. If all else fails - deep fat fry them!!!! :rolf On the peanut butter, I might can help.....stick it in the microwave first. That will soften it so that it can be mixed fairly easily.

If all else fails, try adapting Joan's cookie recipe from the NFSA board.

"Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Stop flyer from sampling the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, this time, you sample the Cuervo to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Remove flyer who has decides to "ride" the beater. Scrape butter off flyer and return it to the bowl ... the butter, not the flyer!

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another cup just in case. Remove flyer from your glass.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Remove fruit with a flyer attached.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor that flyer tossed as he selected "the best" pieces soaked in Cuervo.

Mix on the turner. Fight off flyer who "wants to ride again".

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Remove flyer from your glass.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Remove flyer from your glass. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Glare back at flyer who's eyes are now crossing.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find that flyer hasn't spilled all over the floor.

Greash the oven. Return buttered flyer to mixer after greasing oven with him.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Glare at flyer who is now on his back "riding a bicycle".

Don't forget to beat off the turner. Flyer can no longer hop in a straight line to "get on board".

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Return snoring flyer to your bed and crawl in his nest box for a nap."

Good luck!

muffinsquirrel

[Lady Squirrelly]

:jump :jump :jump :jump :jump :jump :jump

[4skwerlz]

:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl
Funniest dam thing I've ever read.

[PBluejay2]

4s, I have the coffee grinder, and it does well for the vitamins. The only thing I do different in that part (vitamins) is that I use pure calcium carbonate (bought from Chris's) rather than grind up the pills (which are calcium carbonate). I "think" my nuts are cheaper buying them by the two-pound bag at Sams rather than buying sliced/diced/ground from Diamond in the grocery store, but I don't know. Good tip on heating the peanut butter. I'll try it next time. I've tried turning the jar upside down, and eventually the oil creeps up to the top, but it's basically the same problem in reverse. I don't know what I'm forgetting other than I had an idea. Since these are cooked at a relatively low heat, and my "dough" turns out more like goo, could I cook it on wax paper and it not stick? I mean, the raw goo is what I think taffy is like. Isn't a lot of candy cooked on wax paper? and even if it did stick to the wax paper, would it be harmful or would they just spit the paper out like a grape peel?

[4skwerlz]

4s, I have the coffee grinder, and it does well for the vitamins. The only thing I do different in that part (vitamins) is that I use pure calcium carbonate (bought from Chris's) rather than grind up the pills (which are calcium carbonate). I "think" my nuts are cheaper buying them by the two-pound bag at Sams rather than buying sliced/diced/ground from Diamond in the grocery store, but I don't know. Good tip on heating the peanut butter. I'll try it next time. I've tried turning the jar upside down, and eventually the oil creeps up to the top, but it's basically the same problem in reverse. I don't know what I'm forgetting other than I had an idea. Since these are cooked at a relatively low heat, and my "dough" turns out more like goo, could I cook it on wax paper and it not stick? I mean, the raw goo is what I think taffy is like. Isn't a lot of candy cooked on wax paper? and even if it did stick to the wax paper, would it be harmful or would they just spit the paper out like a grape peel?

It should not be like goo. Once you get your nuts properly ground instead of ground into "nut butter" I'm sure you'll get the proper texture. The dough should be very easy to handle and roll and doesn't stick to pans at all. Get the cheap electric chopper for the nuts, or buy them already chopped.

[PBluejay2]

Oh yeah, I'll have to wait until next weekend to make the next batches, but the Cuervo sounds like a great addition to the recipe!

[PBluejay2]

It should not be like goo. Once you get your nuts properly ground instead of ground into "nut butter" I'm sure you'll get the proper texture. The dough should be very easy to handle and roll and doesn't stick to pans at all. Get the cheap electric chopper for the nuts, or buy them already chopped.
I really don't think I can afford them already chopped, and I didn't think I was making butter out of them, just "chopped fine" like the directions said. So how "fine" is "fine"? 16th of an inch chunks? (about what I've done), 8th of in in chunks? I kind of worried that if the "chunks" were too big, they'd just eat the nut chunks and spit out the rest (they DO like to fling what they don't want).

[SammysHD]

PBluejay2, I don't post here often, but from one Kentucky boy to another, I feel your pain and hope the following will be helpful. My wife (LynninIN) has been quite busy lately, so I naively offered to handle the squirrel blocks. How tough could it be? HA! Made me wanna go out and break something. I've only made three batches so far. While the first two sucked, last nights batch IMHO is worthy of submission to Martha frickin Stewart.

Here's what I've learned so far:

Even though the result is a "baked good", don't consider it a baking project. Approach this in the same manner as you might in changing a fuel filter. Follow the directions to a "T" and keep it simple. The instructions include the term "chopped" which subliminally leads you to one of those shiny kitchen appliances which are seductively shaped and motorized to confuse us into thinking it's a power tool. Resist the temptation of these gadgets my friend. I had to clean one once and vowed to never approach them again.

Start this project in your natural environment. The garage. Below is a pic of the appliance which will save you hours of frustration. A regular metal hammer punched holes in the bag, but the rubber one works well.

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o109/LrST/Other/Rubberhammerforsquirrelblocks.jpg


Place the bags of nuts on the concrete floor and tap all around the bag till you're content. The original packaging on our nuts was tough enough. My biggest issue on the first go around was grinding up all the pills in the vitamin mix. Took at least an hour with a small bowl and spoon. Double bag them all in sturdy zip locks and the rubber hammer makes it powder in minutes.

I had a new jar of the natural peanut butter this time which had yet to be refrigerated. Temperature made a big difference in easing that battle. Nuke then mix.

Sounds like texture is a big part of your problem. My last batch was too wet and created a mess that still causes a nervous twitch when I think about it.

Since you're not using the baking powder, maybe add more protein powder to dry the mix. The blocks in the pic are solid and not malleable if you think they look ok.

When you follow the directions exactly, the point of mixing the dry ingredients with the wet looks like it has to have more water. Don't add water and don't think you can mix it with a spoon. As much as I hate sticky stuff on my hands, you've gotta squish it around for a few minutes like play-dough and it will mix well and become workable into the "snake" plan. Pour vegetable oil on the countertop before trying to roll. If you keep the mixture dry enough, this should also eliminate the need for the drywall knife.

Good Luck and be brave,
John

[whopoopwrasse]

:jump :jump :jump :jump :jump

[PBluejay2]

PBluejay2, I don't post here often, but from one Kentucky boy to another, I feel your pain and hope the following will be helpful. My wife (LynninIN) has been quite busy lately, so I naively offered to handle the squirrel blocks. How tough could it be? HA! Made me wanna go out and break something. I've only made three batches so far. While the first two sucked, last nights batch IMHO is worthy of submission to Martha frickin Stewart.

Here's what I've learned so far:

Even though the result is a "baked good", don't consider it a baking project. Approach this in the same manner as you might in changing a fuel filter. Follow the directions to a "T" and keep it simple. The instructions include the term "chopped" which subliminally leads you to one of those shiny kitchen appliances which are seductively shaped and motorized to confuse us into thinking it's a power tool. Resist the temptation of these gadgets my friend. I had to clean one once and vowed to never approach them again.

Start this project in your natural environment. The garage. Below is a pic of the appliance which will save you hours of frustration.

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o109/LrST/Other/Rubberhammerforsquirrelblocks.jpg


Place the bags of nuts on the concrete floor and tap all around the bag till you're content. The original packaging on our nuts was tough enough. My biggest issue on the first go around was grinding up all the pills in the vitamin mix. Took at least an hour with a small bowl and spoon. Double bag them all in sturdy zip locks and the rubber hammer makes it powder in minutes.

I had a new jar of the natural peanut butter this time which had yet to be refrigerated. Temperature made a big difference in easing that battle. Nuke then mix.

Sounds like texture is a big part of your problem. My last batch was too wet and created a mess that still causes a nervous twitch when I think about it.

Since you're not using the baking powder, maybe add more protein powder to dry the mix. The blocks in the pic are solid and not malleable if you think they look ok.

When you follow the directions exactly, the point of mixing the dry ingredients with the wet looks like it has to have more water. Don't add water and don't think you can mix it with a spoon. As much as I hate sticky stuff on my hands, you've gotta squish it around for a few minutes like play-dough and it will mix well and become workable into the "snake" plan. Pour vegetable oil on the countertop before trying to roll. If you keep the mixture dry enough, this should also eliminate the need for the drywall knife.

Good Luck and be brave,
John

I like this guy! I feel all sorts of male bonding here! (But I was so please with myself by running out to the garage for the drill, putting the mixer "blade" or whatever it's called in the chuck, and beating the hell out of that damned peanut butter!)

[Lady Squirrelly]

Parchement paper to bake on will keep them from sticking. Since we cook it so low, you can use it more than once.

Since I started using it a few years ago, I never have burned or stuck cookies.

In aisle with wax paper.